last night’s オカズ:
[ひかげもん (てんぴぼし)] 今日から先生の性欲は私が処理します
I was trying to think if this cover was safe for work or not… and you know what… I think it is!
did I lose all my readers by now? probably… but at least I still have you! hooray
Am I done being a sad sack of a human being yet? maybe… even though the deadline ™ was two weeks ago I still have some small things to do and it feels like the work never ends. I want to be happy and free! I deserve it!!!! But I still have more work to do lol so I just shut down internally, spiritually and mentally over like the last week and a half. Maybe start feeling like the haze was gone just a few days ago.
Is work burnout real? Most people would probably say just get over urself lol depression isn’t real. I actually fantasized a few times about just walking in to the office and throwing all my personal possessions into the trash and walking up to the top floor and jumping off the interior staircases some 30 floors into the cement. What a scandal it would be for my firm and my clients! What the hell are they doing over there? I’d even get to meet my dead mother and have her beat the shit out of me in the afterlife! And maybe some other people that have passed in my life that I miss too, though I imagine a few of them probably wouldn’t be too happy to see me anyway. HAHAHA
I was also thinking about dropping the upcoming tourney irl since I haven’t been playing tile game much lately… but I figured well I already paid like a hundred something tendies for it so fuck it just go and have fun… even though being there alone watching everyone else talk to each other isn’t that much fun… tfw antisocial…
I don’t think I’m missing too much even if I haven’t played that much. In fact, I’m 150 points away from 五段…! *famous last words*
Well it’s ok. I probably place well at all. But maybe I might! Last time I went to tourney I got inspired for a short time to keep trying… so maybe we can get positive energy out of it after…!
In an effort to make my pc harder to use to try to make myself doom scroll less i put all of my low rise figgies across my TVs. idk lol bored but technically I have more room for figgies if I do this. I did spend the last week and this week working like though. I do have to move my head a little bit for some items on the bottom of the screen. haha imagine this guy doing ur taxes
Sometimes I do think my life is worthless and meaningless. And you know what? It probably is… but it’s better for my own sanity and wellbeing if I pretend it isn’t. cause it’s all I got anyway.
okay uhh im still fat and im still behind on japanese but maybe some day i don’t have to be!!! don’t give up!! aw fuck i have work tomorrow too noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ahh