Category: blog

last night’s オカズ:

[LOFLAT (Prime)] 先生はぴっちりスーツ姿の方が好き…なのかしら?

I think I only like Rio because I have a friend who happens to like her… I don’t actually know anything about her… but her boobs are pretty big… mMmMmMm….

I got really mad at one of my junior co-workers cause I asked him to do (1) thing on 9/22, of which he said he’d start tomorrrow (9/23). I didn’t follow up and on 9/28 I was like hey can you do the thing and he was like ok and then turned in dogshit to me at 1:30 PM saying he had an appointment to go to and then go on vacation for the week. I thought it’d just be for this week through 10/2, but no, it’s actually through 10/9! I actually needed him to do more than just that one thing he didn’t do, either! the moral of the story is… micromanage people you don’t trust! ):

anyway rise and shine time to head to florida

This airplane had free in-flight wi-fi courtesy of Starlink! On the way into the corridor into the plane two people ahead of us were discussing, We know you wouldn’t drive a Tesla because of Elon Musk. But do you draw the line at using Starlink if it’s the only source of (free) wi-fi on the plane? To which the other replied Well if it’s the only thing available I guess it can’t be helped… but perhaps some people would stand defiant and go the flight without. Sucks if you have to be working on the flight…

Landed at about 17:30 to arrive at Disney’s Hollywood Studios at about 19:00. I missed visiting this park on my last visit to Orlando last year so missing most stuff here, but we got to ride Slinky Dog Dash and Rock n Roller Coaster. Slinky Dog Dash is a multi launch coaster for kids, but the way it lights up at night gets you excited for the ride! Then the Rock n Roller Coaster is slightly old but rethemed to Muppets this year or something. It’s decent and has some inversions (according to my friend it’s the only Disney ride with an inversion) and passing through California-related objects is fun but it’s just decent. Obviously, it can’t compare to Guardians of the Galaxy at Epcot.. .which we’ll be riding tomorrow…!

idk not too detailed pce

last night’s オカズ:

[remora field (remora)] ケイちゃんといちゃいちゃする本

ケイchan is so cute!

been stuffing my face into this this week. though i think her head is a little too low compared to where it normally is for all the other dakis. so it’s a little awkard. but humans are creatures of adaptation

really all i did was sub my runescape time for mahjong time. i’m not any more useful than I was before. but damn this game sucks cock lol

cope list but im too indifferent to detail review. perhaps that’s why i’m losing! noob. but for these games though it’s just everyone else wins hands before I can do anything and it’s like welp ok guess I lose

well time to finish up loose strings at work tomorrow and then we are off

hooray, hopefully i can have some fun. but as my brother likes to put it… you’re going to have fun whether you like it or not!

last night’s オカズ:

[ひかげもん (てんぴぼし)] 今日から先生の性欲は私が処理します

I was trying to think if this cover was safe for work or not… and you know what… I think it is!

did I lose all my readers by now? probably… but at least I still have you! hooray

Am I done being a sad sack of a human being yet? maybe… even though the deadline ™ was two weeks ago I still have some small things to do and it feels like the work never ends. I want to be happy and free! I deserve it!!!! But I still have more work to do lol so I just shut down internally, spiritually and mentally over like the last week and a half. Maybe start feeling like the haze was gone just a few days ago.

Is work burnout real? Most people would probably say just get over urself lol depression isn’t real. I actually fantasized a few times about just walking in to the office and throwing all my personal possessions into the trash and walking up to the top floor and jumping off the interior staircases some 30 floors into the cement. What a scandal it would be for my firm and my clients! What the hell are they doing over there? I’d even get to meet my dead mother and have her beat the shit out of me in the afterlife! And maybe some other people that have passed in my life that I miss too, though I imagine a few of them probably wouldn’t be too happy to see me anyway. HAHAHA

I was also thinking about dropping the upcoming tourney irl since I haven’t been playing tile game much lately… but I figured well I already paid like a hundred something tendies for it so fuck it just go and have fun… even though being there alone watching everyone else talk to each other isn’t that much fun… tfw antisocial…

I don’t think I’m missing too much even if I haven’t played that much. In fact, I’m 150 points away from 五段…! *famous last words*

Well it’s ok. I probably place well at all. But maybe I might! Last time I went to tourney I got inspired for a short time to keep trying… so maybe we can get positive energy out of it after…!

In an effort to make my pc harder to use to try to make myself doom scroll less i put all of my low rise figgies across my TVs. idk lol bored but technically I have more room for figgies if I do this. I did spend the last week and this week working like though. I do have to move my head a little bit for some items on the bottom of the screen. haha imagine this guy doing ur taxes

Sometimes I do think my life is worthless and meaningless. And you know what? It probably is… but it’s better for my own sanity and wellbeing if I pretend it isn’t. cause it’s all I got anyway.

okay uhh im still fat and im still behind on japanese but maybe some day i don’t have to be!!! don’t give up!! aw fuck i have work tomorrow too noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ahh

i don’t know what i’m doing with my life

that’s all

thanks

winner winner chicken dinner you fucking did it you made it to the end youre the fucking best

i think in hindsight things aren’t so bad. but damn that was rough. a former co-worker that went to a private company texted me and was like hey we might be hiring soon would you wanna join and i was like damn man you picked a REALLY fucking good time to ask. i think i’ll give it a shot but if it doesn’t pan out that’s ok.

looking forward to getting back to real life!

last night’s おかず:

[あんみつよもぎ亭 (みちきんぐ)] サキュバス性徒会シコシコ執行部

i like these unnecessary black body lines streaking across the body. is there a term for it?

uhhh someone told me to shut the fuck up cause i was pounding the keyboard to hard while trying to input numbers so i packed my shit up and went home in the middle of the day

uhh back to work

cya

last night’s おかず:

[埋葬ノ底 (丑露ムキ)] 帰り道、排泄 // [埋葬ノ底 (丑露ムキ)] not elegance // [ヴィヴィ堂 (クマ作民三)] 絞って搾られ合理的どすけべエクササイズ

I think 丑露ムキ’s works might be a little too hard for me… but I still keep buying them! oops

my new earphones came in and… they make sound! congratulations

good eats! nabe soba and mentaiko mazemen. still fat. mMmMmM

https://native-store.net/en/products/detail/1456 is trying to shill their figure as a cup noodle topper. but what’s stopping anyone from using any other figgie that can lay down flat?

this weeks dakis. actually having three new A&Jライクトロンリッチ covers on is extremely soft

comiket 108 was already ONE week ago. there’s no more comiket circle menus to or booth.pm relistings to doomscroll anymore… time to sign-out and unlearn the twitter formerly x doomscrolling habit (:

first shipment of books ready to go… there’s a figgie in it though so it’s a little padded in terms of cost. lol

I missed the JLPT N2 sign-up. I remembered at about 19:00 that it was the day to sign-up last friday… then the seats were all gone. well I can still learn Japanese without having signed up for the test… right? haha…

I think part of what makes me want to give up playing tile game is seeing people ‘go pro’ and fly out to all of the us tournaments and actually grind it out. seeing them take it seriously makes me think, man there’s no way in hell I could pull up to a tourney and think I have a fair shot at bouncing these people. but it’s not like you HAVE to win or prove anything to make it meaningful, does it? can we find joy in our own journey? just because other people are trying harder or have accomplished more doesn’t diminish what we do. in fact, if we flip it to other things in life we wouldn’t say something like, ‘oh, other people are richer than me, i’ll just stay poor’ or ‘oh, other people are more fit than me, i’ll just stay fat’. that’s stupid! but it’s not like I’d want to be a mahjong pro anyway. no way in hell a cunny gooner would be a good fit for a professional ™ mahjong organization anyway (:

yea good luck enjoying that journey LMAO

There’s probably better things I can quit… like this… there’s like no social connection that I have in this game. I think in my rant earlier I dream about how there’s a fantasy version of myself that doesn’t goof off at all and does everything he wanted to do and become. but is that really happiness? Like, yes, all of this shit is meaningless. But life itself is meaningless! therefore you can do whatever you want! the circle of life and meaning completes itself. I don’t know. I’m in an endless cycle of trying to convince myself of what I should be and what I am trying to become. We’ll see if we still want to play when we truly have free time. At least that’s what I said approximately 10 months when I last unsubbed last year. (:

I do want the hydra claw and toxic blowpipe though… ;_;

i dunno just get your priorities right! do your exercise then do your work and then have fun! not have fun and have fun and have fun and have fun and then oops you didnt do what you were supposed to do! just get the small win each day and then after a bunch of small wins you can become a big winner!

i think it’s better if I pretend to be positive and pretend my life is going well even if i’m actually stressing the fuck out about work and deadlines and trying to mentally/spiritually fail to escape from it by doomscrolling and playing games. I woke up at 07:00 and should have started work at maybe 07:30… but I goofed off until 08:45 instead on my pc! closing your eyes and pretending the problem isn’t there won’t make it go away! just get in and accept being uncomfortable with where we’re at instead of being like wow this shit sucks let me pick up my phone and try to find relief that isn’t there. i mean i’ll still do it probably… just do it less (:

https://www.fanbox.cc/@kinokomushi/posts/12301690

I really liked this picture of Kisaki so I paid 500￥ for it! now you can have a copy of it too. hooray. heres the high quality version and the titty version in case you need that too. also that new sayuri girl looks pretty fucking hot. hope she dethrones kei next comiket hehe

ok better upload those workpapers i said i was gonna upload before i go to sleep. hope you have a nice day for me!!

recently in buying dumb shit:

maitetsu dakimakuras

kujis are scam. please don’t do them unless you really need the A prize

cute…

https://kinokomushi.booth.pm/items/8664213

Cute! I remember seeing her transformation scene on Twitter formerly X and her character design is so good… so let’s go get into Cure Arcana Shadow! Maybe I’ll watch her show after her daki comes in after October…

And she has a non-shadow form just announced! This means they can sell twice the toys and merchandise now, because you can’t just have the shadow one only! profits!!!!!!!!!

Comiket just ended so I think this should be the remaining majority of books to order. There’s a few things I’ll need to pick aftermarket like ともー’s 新刊 and R-18 kisaki tapestry, which I think I’ll have to fight people with money on Yahoo Auctions for, but I don’t think I want to spend more than 15,000￥ on it if I can…

遅くなりましたが夏コミお品書きです！
今回の新刊はブルアカのケイちゃんとイチャイチャしたりコスプレしてもらったりする大人向けの本になります！
スペースは8/16（日）【東A-18b Twilight Road】になりますのでどうぞよろしくお願いします✨✨#C108お品書き #C108 pic.twitter.com/7KZ9i3C5ov

— ともー@夏コミ2日目【A-18b】 (@tomorrow_0) August 14, 2026

<update> we did it thank you buy it now putters

DId you also know へんりいだ put out a book? I wouldn’t have known if I wasn’t on top of my stuff… I picked one off Yahoo Auctions for 2,000￥ but I have to hope the seller doesn’t cancel the bid because I’m shopping through a proxy…

We got to legend rank in poker chase! Except… most people playing are kinda doo-doo at it (just like me) and if it only takes me as someone who doesn’t know anything about poker only 200 games to get there… I don’t think it means much… but I’ll take it. At least the players in the higher room know what they’re doing a little bit. I probably won’t try to take it much further than this since I know there is a TON of stuff I don’t know about poker still… and I don’t really wanna get into it THAT deeply… kinda like mahjong…? haha…

The guy I talk to about poker is struggling to make it there and actually de-ranked…maybe he’s bad too? uh-oh…

It’s ok though. I think I’ve had enough horseshit in mahjong myself

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

JLPT N2 signup starts on August 21… but I’m kinda behind on that… haha… we’ll revisit that…

With my bonus from work I thought I’d pay off my remaining student loans… but that would be too responsible of me!

https://bloomaudio.com/products/thieaudio-valhalla

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

It’ll probably be like, yup, they’re IEMs, they sound pretty close to ThieAudio’s the Prestige LTDs that I have. wow great use of money man

I was also cleaning my room yesterday and went through my old journal. From like…. 2020-2022 when I was writing for a bit. I was sad that I still made $18 an hour, or wasn’t Saint 1 yet, or still struggled to read doujinshi well. I cried a little bit cause it was like, man, those things seem so trivial now Well, I’ve passed all of those things now… I’m sure the me of 5 years ago would gladly take where I am now in a heartbeat… but you know what? He didn’t give up… so I shouldn’t either…! Except we’re still both fat. hahahahah

peasant room. peasant time. HAHAHAHAHAHA

ok uhh idk what else to say fuck mahjong maybe ill see if i need it in my life later. maybe i’ll drop again from my irl tourney coming up. ok go to work dumb fuck

https://www.melonbooks.co.jp/detail/detail.php?product_id=3787254

https://twitter.com/kinokomusin/status/2084582088737788180

never kill yourself

well it’s fucking 12:01 am and i can’t sleep cause im pissed at someone from work. lol

so since 7/26 i hauled ass through 7/31 to meet two big deadlines for two clients. We didn’t think I’d make it for my biggest client (“client A”) so we were coming up with contingency plans in case we missed and try to deliver what we can piecemeal… but I was able to figure shit out and get it to them and signed off by around 5:00 PM that day. hooray. for the other one “client B” the senior manager on that one had to fight with my senior manager on client A and be like plz let xsa work on this its due 7/31 and were like uhhhhhhhhh so is our stuff? but we relented. but we made that one and so we got a bunch of thank you e-mails from client B’s senior manager and the managing partner on that. hooray. now note on that thank you e-mail the guy says “let’s finish up the remaining items next week.” i think to myself ok sure i have some time next week to complete it. cool.

fast forward to fucking tuesday afternoon and the guy is like hey are you going to finish those open items? i say im working on the other stuff and then he throws down the ok let me know if i need to talk to the senior manager on client A to get you to finish this stuff. like bro you literally just four days ago were like good job team and now you wanna shit all over me. cool bro so much for a good job when you said NEXT WEEK you wanted it completed and we’re 2/5 days in to the god damn weekday and you wanna throw fists for my time. again. nice. maybe i should learn to be an asshole too. normally this would be fine if you only had two clients… but when you’re juggling like a whole bunch of other engagements at the same time getting pulled in 3 different directions when you’re trying to do one thing is extremely annoying.

i dunno i got my annual raise and bonus and its… ok but less than what i was expecting. my boss boss was like it’s ok when you make it to manager next year it should be a lot better… but sometimes it’s like damn… do i want MORE responsibility than what I already have…? I like to think maybe this shit isn’t worth it… but after the fact once our tax season is over it’ll be like ahh it wasn’t so bad. we can do it again. lol

a reminder of better times in my life

i think its times like these where you’re at fucking rock bottom… and you realize what things matter in life and what things dont matter in life. does being good at mahjong matter right now? does getting sick exp drops in runescape matter right now? nah… would having been healthy and fit matter right now? most likely… would having been diligent and on top of my work earlier this year matter right now? most likely…but it’s easy to lose sight of those things when the going is good.

remember THAT? lol that feels like ages ago already

so i dunno. what do i want? your sympathy? nah. i don’t really know how that helps. i do know there’s some folks out there who are like damn this guy lives a really good life buying cunny all the time. my life’s shit man. i’m fat, my job sucks, i suck at mahjong, i piss away all of my free time doomscrolling the internet. you should find someone else whos life is better and aspire to be like them!

like there’s these cute cunny shirts for c108 i’m gonna buy! but i’m still a fat sack of shit cause i’m too sloppy to stick to any of my plans for more than two weeks so when i wear them im just a fat loser! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

i guess like in the back of my mind i fantasize about what i could be if i really tried. like quit playing video games and quit looking for attention on the internet and quit looking for things to jerk off to (like seriously i have 700 unread doujins. and we add like 100-150 every comiket. why do we need to look for r-18 stuff on the internet???) and just digged the fuck in on playing irl. become the “successful” high(er) six figure earning jacked cunny chad i always wanted to be. (can one really argue that’s being successful? who defines that?)

i think i’m just scared. what if i stopped trying to be the xsa who “is good” at mahjong?

in the absolute scale of things, st2 ain’t shit. but neither is making high six figures, is it? especially when i know how much my clients make. lol

or the xsa who pisses away all his money erecting his (half) cunny goon cave? i couldn’t take that one away. i think removing that would like… unironically ruin who i am as a person if i strip that away. but doesn’t that mean i’m just as bad as the other people who claim their mental illnesses as their identities?

well, for everything else, there’s always a nice fap and nap. and back to hell we go when we wake up. lets fucking goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo