Author: XSA

https://www.melonbooks.co.jp/detail/detail.php?product_id=3787254

https://twitter.com/kinokomusin/status/2084582088737788180

never kill yourself

well it’s fucking 12:01 am and i can’t sleep cause im pissed at someone from work. lol

so since 7/26 i hauled ass through 7/31 to meet two big deadlines for two clients. We didn’t think I’d make it for my biggest client (“client A”) so we were coming up with contingency plans in case we missed and try to deliver what we can piecemeal… but I was able to figure shit out and get it to them and signed off by around 5:00 PM that day. hooray. for the other one “client B” the senior manager on that one had to fight with my senior manager on client A and be like plz let xsa work on this its due 7/31 and were like uhhhhhhhhh so is our stuff? but we relented. but we made that one and so we got a bunch of thank you e-mails from client B’s senior manager and the managing partner on that. hooray. now note on that thank you e-mail the guy says “let’s finish up the remaining items next week.” i think to myself ok sure i have some time next week to complete it. cool.

fast forward to fucking tuesday afternoon and the guy is like hey are you going to finish those open items? i say im working on the other stuff and then he throws down the ok let me know if i need to talk to the senior manager on client A to get you to finish this stuff. like bro you literally just four days ago were like good job team and now you wanna shit all over me. cool bro so much for a good job when you said NEXT WEEK you wanted it completed and we’re 2/5 days in to the god damn weekday and you wanna throw fists for my time. again. nice. maybe i should learn to be an asshole too. normally this would be fine if you only had two clients… but when you’re juggling like a whole bunch of other engagements at the same time getting pulled in 3 different directions when you’re trying to do one thing is extremely annoying.

i dunno i got my annual raise and bonus and its… ok but less than what i was expecting. my boss boss was like it’s ok when you make it to manager next year it should be a lot better… but sometimes it’s like damn… do i want MORE responsibility than what I already have…? I like to think maybe this shit isn’t worth it… but after the fact once our tax season is over it’ll be like ahh it wasn’t so bad. we can do it again. lol

a reminder of better times in my life

i think its times like these where you’re at fucking rock bottom… and you realize what things matter in life and what things dont matter in life. does being good at mahjong matter right now? does getting sick exp drops in runescape matter right now? nah… would having been healthy and fit matter right now? most likely… would having been diligent and on top of my work earlier this year matter right now? most likely…but it’s easy to lose sight of those things when the going is good.

remember THAT? lol that feels like ages ago already

so i dunno. what do i want? your sympathy? nah. i don’t really know how that helps. i do know there’s some folks out there who are like damn this guy lives a really good life buying cunny all the time. my life’s shit man. i’m fat, my job sucks, i suck at mahjong, i piss away all of my free time doomscrolling the internet. you should find someone else whos life is better and aspire to be like them!

like there’s these cute cunny shirts for c108 i’m gonna buy! but i’m still a fat sack of shit cause i’m too sloppy to stick to any of my plans for more than two weeks so when i wear them im just a fat loser! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

i guess like in the back of my mind i fantasize about what i could be if i really tried. like quit playing video games and quit looking for attention on the internet and quit looking for things to jerk off to (like seriously i have 700 unread doujins. and we add like 100-150 every comiket. why do we need to look for r-18 stuff on the internet???) and just digged the fuck in on playing irl. become the “successful” high(er) six figure earning jacked cunny chad i always wanted to be. (can one really argue that’s being successful? who defines that?)

i think i’m just scared. what if i stopped trying to be the xsa who “is good” at mahjong?

in the absolute scale of things, st2 ain’t shit. but neither is making high six figures, is it? especially when i know how much my clients make. lol

or the xsa who pisses away all his money erecting his (half) cunny goon cave? i couldn’t take that one away. i think removing that would like… unironically ruin who i am as a person if i strip that away. but doesn’t that mean i’m just as bad as the other people who claim their mental illnesses as their identities?

well, for everything else, there’s always a nice fap and nap. and back to hell we go when we wake up. lets fucking goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oops I forgot I had a blog! haha…

july 13: visited busch gardens williamsburg. It’s a nice and extremely well themed park. Pantheon is probably the best ride technically speaking but we ended up getting the most rides on alpengeist, which ir probably the best b&m invert

some food slops

and some animals. i said the eagles aren’t very free here but apparently they’re injured and not able to survive in the wild so they keep them here. oops

july 14

and… to atlanta!

This doohickey known as arieforce one is closing down on August 2nd, so we came to press f to pay respects! It’s a very good RMC with individually very strong elements, but the quadruple down element at the end is just way too much on my thighs. Very good and hopefully someone else will buy it as I think it’s worth keeping!

A visit to world of coke, where you can look at coca-cola memorabilia, and more importantly, drink a lot of soda! “New” coke is indeed quite different from original coke but it could definitely stand on its own, but it’s easy to see why fans of the original would not accept it replacing ‘old’ coke entirely. And the most important section where you get to try sodas from around the world. There were two black girls in front of the Beverly fountain and one was like hey try this flavor to the other girl and we could see the immediate disgust on her face after taking a sip. It’s my favorite flavor though!

came back to try to get some night rides on arieforce one. we got the last one but it ended up getting stuck… it was a good run though.

july 15

a visit to six flags over georgia. Overall the coaster line-up isn’t too strong but they have enough variety to make it worthwhile. Goliath is the best with it’s huge airtime moments but it does show its age with its rattle.

ok back to real life (:

I was getting pretty close to saint II… but I dropped the promo game… We’ll come back when I’m in a better place mentally…

I played a lot of runescape and my levels are going up! but i’m still fat and the work i have isn’t going away if i keep doing that (:

and c108 books on order so far!

i dunno. is it that hard to just serious the fuck up for like the next 50 days? tfw i dont know how to work on something for more than 20 minutes at a time before jumping to my phone and looking at something else and everyone is like hi status update on this please!!!! meanwhile i just go and fuck off because i dont wanna look at it and guess what it still isnt done

i mean if you think about it getting paid is way more important than all of this side stuff im doing. except maybe the health/fitness part. but not like i was doing that anyway in the first place. (:

why cant i get my priorities straight? tfw i adhd’d my brain into being unable to do anything anymore. well time to see if i still have a job in 2 months!!! lol

oops might’ve been a while… was busy finishing up some stuff on Friday the 10th for work and packing up for vacation…!

stow your suitcases verticaly nor horizontally

Heading to… King’s Dominion in Virginia!

oOoOooOoh

We spent the night yesterday (7/11) and a full day there today (7/12)

some pork slop and beef tri tip slop and a jalapeno sausage slop. I did opt for vegetables instead of more carby options for health purposes…!?

The top attraction here is Pantherian, an Intamin giga coaster. It’s the most intense one I’ve ever ridden where I experienced my first grey-out on a roller coaster, which is a temporary (partial) loss of vision from forces being exerted on the body. That said we did ride it 34 times today, which is the most I’ve ever ridden any coaster since it’s easy to get back in line / stay on the roller coaster since most people would ride it once and call it a day. It blends high speeds with aggressive low-to-the-ground twists and turns that make it really fun. The ride itself actually used to burn through wheels, so they spray the wheels with water while in the station to make them cool down more quickly. I’d say I like this more than Cedar Point’s Millennium Force, but not more than Carowind’s Fury 325.

Twisted Timbers is the park’s RMC, formerly a bad wooden roller coaster known as Hurler. When I initially watched a POV ride of it it didn’t seem like anything too special and overabuses bunny hills, but I ended up liking it more than I thought. I do highly prefer the back seat more as my thighs get slammed against the seat restraint way more in the front.

The other rides are mostly good but not amazing; I think I do like Kings Island a bit more but it holds its weight. I’d probably rank it as Rapterra> Reptilian> Dominator > Grizzly > Racer 75 > Backlot Stunt Coaster > Flight of Fear > Woodstock Express > Apple Zapple. I don’t count the S&S freespin as a roller coaster. :^)

winner winner chicken dinner you fucking did it you made it to the end you’re the fucking best

We did it! I was worried after throwing 20 points that I didn’t need to throw that it’d come back to bite us in the ass… but luckily we were able to hold on by quite a thin margin!

yippee

Our guy was a little scared to take the final set of matches… He was actually scheduled to play another session but had to grinch due to unforeseen circumstances. Shoulda thought twice about having a real life, huh? In any case I think most people would want to send their strongest player… but since our captain strongly insisted on equal games to the extent possible he was locked in. Hopefully it will be a good memory for him to reminisce on in the future in that we placed our final hopes and wishes in him and he was able to follow through…!

I joked in one of the streams that if we won I’d donate 5 tendies to the make a wish foundation. so here we are! thank you for the flow

If you didn’t make it or wished you had done better… now’s your chance to start preparing for next year’s league!

RIGHT FUCKING NOW! i like this clip a lot and play it to myself after i goofed off all day sometimes

start practicing now and develop your skills so that when you need it the most… you’re ready! not in 11 months when the next league starts… because then you’ll have to re-learn how to play the game again! also kind of saying this to myself for everything else I do :^)

well, it was a good run. see you next league!

tfw ur shit ):

but ur friend isn’t (: